The Onion | Zambia Elects Black President

The Onion reports on election of the first ever black president in Zambia. President Bilikisu Adewale, a 49-year-old black man served as Zambia's Foreign Minister from 1998 to 2004. Addressing the largely black crowd, he pledged to defend the interests of the nation's sizable black community.

Among his chief campaign promises was to increase funding for schools in Zambia's inner cities, outer cities, and middle cities—areas with a high concentration of blacks.

"Do you realize that in this nation of more than 10 million people, there is not a single black-history museum or black cultural center?" Adewale asked. "Did you know that at the University of Zambia, there are no black fraternities and no black student union? This must change. And it will, starting today."

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