The Secret to a Good Marriage? Delusion

I think we are deluded when we get married. Divorce is so common nowadays that it is not surprising to see couples call it a day. People who manage to stay married obviosly have something unique that keeps them together.For instance, how did the World's longest-married couple clock up 80 years.

Robin Hanson offered a perceptive comment on marriage and divorce (paraphrased).

We tend to remember slights and frustrations more than favors and kindnesses. So inevitably in a marriage the weight of negative remembrances of thing past comes to exceed that of the positive. Divorce is the result.

The secret to a good marriage, therefore is selective forgetfulness. Coincidentally some psychologists have recently come to the same conclusion. The couples who stay together are the delusional ones - the ones who look at their past with rose-colored glasses. strations more than favors and kindnesses.  So inevitably in a marriage the weight of negative remembrances of thing past comes to exceed that of the positive.  Divorce is the result.

The secret to a good marriage, therefore is selective forgetfulness.  Coincidentally some psychologists have recently come to the same conclusion.  The couples who stay together are the delusional ones - the ones who look at their past with rose-colored glasses.

0 comments: