The evil that resides somewhere near home

I sit hushed, paused on the brink of each news bulletin, silenced by the horror of what has happened near my home. There is a relentless misery about the fate of Marsha McDonnell and Amelia Delagrange. The national TV news shows the police carrying out detailed searches and house to house inquiries. Images of the young women revealing pale skinned innocence betrayed by a world more evil than anyone can fully comprehend.

If the crime has been random it would, oddly, appear more explicable. But we must now consider the possibility that they were killed by people they knew, during the night in a quiet suburb in the west of London.

There will be reasons, but no explanations for this crime. We might learn it was a sexual thing, or a some other form of power lust perverted into atrocity, but whatever terms are used we'll never really understand why. How some brains can consider and calculate such acts is simply beyond our comprehension.

This is why we prefer to think there was no premeditation or thought. We'd rather events were spontaneous and conducted in some fog of lust. It's why so many of our myths concern evil strangers and mysterious forces - we like to think that evil lives on the fringes, or in the depths of the forest, and not among us.

This is because we hope we would recognise evil. This is a very strong instinct, the assumption that if we live with people we will understand them. It is, and always has been, wrong.

The chances of being murdered by a stranger are remote. People close to the victim commit most violent crime.

Living & Dying

I have learned a lot about life from from friends living with HIV. I usually became teary eyed when I remember my first friend with HIV/AIDS, who died shortly after speaking to her mother on the telephone to say good- bye.

Having worked with people living with HIV and their families since 2000, and during this time, more than 10 of my friends have died. I have watched people struggle and cope with their illness. And in turn, have learned more about myself and the human condition.

Once you face the trauma of AIDS, all your other problems are put into perspective. Aids can strike us anywhere. I've seen my friends -- people at their rawest -- with everything stripped away from them. But that time after the HIV diagnosis, the time they have and what they chose to do with their relationships, has helped me see --as humans -- how we can reach each other.

Live The Good Life

I will have another birthday very soon. This is certainly not exactly groundbreaking news, except for the fact that it feels like I just recently had a birthday. In fact, it feels like everything is happening faster and faster and that my life is flying by. As one ages, time goes by more rapidly.

If you talk to contemporary children, their perception is that time doesn't go quickly enough. Perception is everything. As adults we all know that the time is the time, yet there is a distinct feeling as we get older that someone, somewhere has speeded things up. We're halfway through the summer and you can already see the back to school signs in the stores and soon the haloween pumpkins will be taking their place.

Added to that is a world that is on Internet time. We get information about everything right as it is happening. There is an inevitability to progress. But history has taught us that not all of it helps to create an evolved species. Many people feel a sense of frustration and a lack of inner peace as a result of the constant bombardment of messages that always have an urgency behind them. This rushed mentality has crept into every facet of our lives. Even pleasure becomes something that must be done quickly because there are other more important issues to attend.

The ultimate irony is that when we remove those things that bring us joy, we become even more stressed. My recent foray into positive psychology has given me new and exciting information as to how we can all feel better about ourselves and the world we live in. We should try to become more conscious of the shortcuts we take to get more pleasure in our lives. For example: Why do we eat fast food instead of taking the time to prepare a good meal? Why do we send someone a store-bought card instead of creating a card or writing a letter?

Why do we watch TV instead of reading a good book?

An over-reliance on shortcuts to pleasure can be a hindrance to happiness. Perhaps it's time not only to stop and smell the roses, but to buy some, bring them home and languish in their beauty and aroma for longer than five minutes. Try to create more sustained satisfaction in your life, it's much more gratifying than checking your mobile phone or email inbox every five minutes to see if you have a message.

Pain Relief

"A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." - Proverbs 17:22

I still remember the day my girlfriend was hospitalized. I could hear the beat of my heart and the echo of my footsteps as I walked down the hospital corridor toward her room. All I could think of was how will I respond to her?

I was puzzled when I found her sitting up in her bed smiling. She pulled a white tissue from the box, and handed it to me along with a small, plastic medicine cup filled with water. Then she carefully instructed me to take the items to the patient down the hall. I was to inform them that the cup was their basin of water, and the tissue the towel for their bath.

I knew what my girlfriend was up to. She was playing a practical joke on one of the patients she had befriended during her hospital stay. She had an active sense of humour and even though she wasn't feeling her best, she managed to keep her humour alive and well. I admired that she was able to keep her heart merry in the midst of adversity. I found her humour lifting my spirit as well.

God teaches us that a merry heart will do us good. It has the power to bring health to our physical bodies, and heal our wounded spirits.

Studies show that pain perception is reduced after laughter and that endorphins flood our bloodstream during stressful as well as enjoyable times. We've all watched as a wounded child runs to its mother for comfort from bumps, scrapes, and bruises; one pucker of the mothers lips in an affectionate kiss and the child skips away pain free and smiling.

Many days we don't feel like laughing - I know I don't. The trials and worries of everyday life just seem to choke up our ability to laugh. However, we have the gift of joy deep within our spirit. It's during these troubled times that we should leave our worries behind, and reach deep within for a good laugh. Life doesn't promise us that we will always be trouble free; however, we have the ability to laugh our troubles away.